But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
