would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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