stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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