I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The power of my boobs compel you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
