his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
