if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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