I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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