I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
