Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
