i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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