so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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