Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
