I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
