I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
