I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
