took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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