His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
