sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
