GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
