I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
