you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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