Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
