apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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