the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
