Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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