If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
