I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize