shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
