wrigley field is MILF paradise
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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