will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
