I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
