First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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