it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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