At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
