there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
