you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
