We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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