Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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