there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
