hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
