They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
