ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
