ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
