The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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