Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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