so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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