I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
