Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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