Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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