either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
