I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
