Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and she was petting her beer can
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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